C+Q - The Lie of the Land (2017)

I didn't like this episode of Doctor Who. To explain why, here's a list of what the show set up.

1. This episode sets up a regeneration.

Let's start with the bit that annoyed me the most: the heavily advertised regeneration. I went into this episode knowing that there would be a regeneration and that Capaldi would definitely still be the Doctor by the end. I also had the expectation that the show wouldn't promise a regeneration five episodes early during a known regeneration year unless it had something compelling to say or do with it, story-wise. Not only was this regeneration a straight-forward cop-out with no narrative repercussions whatsoever, but the Doctor and the soldiers then stand around laughing for a few minutes at how stupid anyone would have to be to believe the regeneration was genuine. Bill's frustration at the emotional manipulation involved by both the Doctor and the show is then defused as a comic relief moment and the plot moves forward without ever mentioning it again. Not only does this episode fail to do anything interesting with a regeneration that we already knew was going to be a cop-out, but it then openly laughs at the audience for being interested. When you pull a move like that, you punish the viewer for being interested.

I knew Capaldi was still going to be the Doctor until at least the end of the series due to filming reports and clips of him from trailers we hadn't seen in episodes yet. Also, Capaldi is my favourite Doctor, so I have absolutely no reason to want him to leave early - in fact I want him to stay for longer. My interest in this regeneration was purely a story-based interest. I wanted to know why the show would invoke a regeneration early. Surely there must be some justification, perhaps to set-up the plot of the Christmas special in some way, or to expand on Time Lord mythology. But no. The episode just wanted to pull a hollow prank. And if you're in any doubt that the regeneration was intended to trick the audience and not Bill, I'll remind you that Bill doesn't know what regeneration is, so why would the Doctor stage a fake regeneration for her benefit? The fake regeneration is a 4th wall-breaking moment designed purely for us, the audience at home. It doesn't make sense within the universe of the show and it lacks any sort of emotional or dramatic power (even if he had regenerated, the resulting Thirteenth Doctor would still be allied with the monks, just wearing a different face).

Of course, this episode isn't just to blame for this, it's also the BBC marketing department's fault for setting it up in the first place. It might have played a little better if two of the regeneration shots weren't used as center-pieces of two major trailers. Again, I wasn't expecting a reveal of the Thirteenth Doctor (as fun and creative as that would have been), but I was expecting SOMETHING. Literally ANYTHING. Oh well.

2. This episode sets up an evil Doctor.

Part of the premise of this episode (which was also heavily advertised) was that the Doctor had turned evil and is working with the monks. Of course, the least satisfying possible solution to this problem, that the Doctor was just pretending the whole time, is the solution we get. I'm not saying I wanted an episode of Doctor Who where the Doctor is the villain. I'm saying, if you advertise an episode of Doctor Who where the Doctor is the villain, that's the product you need to give us. There's nothing clever or dramatic about 'Just kidding!' Now, characters lie and pretend in drama all the time. After all, Davros was just pretending to have turned good in The Witch's Familiar, which is one of my favourite recent episodes. But what made that an example of good writing is that:

A) Davros was pretending for a good reason. Davros in The Witch's Familiar wanted to steal the Doctor's life force to revive himself. Meanwhile, the Doctor in The Lie of the Land didn't need to 'test' Bill. And what sort of test is goading her into shooting him, anyway?

B) Some of Davros' performance was completely genuine. The bit where he congratulates the Doctor on finding the Time Lords is so chilling because Davros manages to take something happy and twist it to fit with his horrific racist ideology about genetic purity. Meanwhile, the Doctor in The Lie of the Land isn't offering a new side of himself when he pretends to be evil. We almost get into some cool stuff about free will, but it's thrown away on a gag about a 3000-word essay.

So yeah, the evil Doctor thing was a waste.

3. This episode sets up a good/helpful Missy.

The monks have invaded the world and simulated every aspect of the planet to figure out how best to take over. There's only one thing they can't possibly know about in advance: the mysterious creature lurking inside the Vault; a creature who turns out to be Missy. When the Doctor is at his weakest, he has to turn to his oldest friend for help and unleash the wild card from its prison. What a killer fucking premise. What a huge disappointment.

Michelle Gomez is wasted in this three-parter but particularly in this episode. Instead of having her say she's turned good, why couldn't they have SHOWN she's turned good, by releasing her from the Vault and letting her take on the Doctor's role for a week? Then, at the end of the adventure after she's solved the problem, she could willingly decide to go back to the Vault, demonstrating how much she's changed through character action rather than through dialogue. The Capaldi/Gomez Doctor/Master relationship is so complex and beautifully written, and one of the reasons why is because the writers are really digging into the idea of the Doctor and the Master as dark opposites of one another; the same person with a different moral code. Instead of having Missy tell us she's had Doctor-like adventures of her own, let us see that for ourselves by letting her step into his heroic role, like she did in The Witch's Familiar. She could've been the Time Lord with a companion who goes up against an evil brainwashed Doctor. That would have made for an incredible episode. Instead, she just sits playing piano in a glass cage while the Doctor solves the problem at her. Then she has a wee cry at the end to show how she isn't a baddie any more.

If nothing else, Michelle Gomez continues to be my favourite Master and it's nice to have some more scenes with her and Capaldi before she goes. I'm still holding out hope for the multi-Master story to deliver the goods.

A Few Questions

Why is the big finale, where Bill uses the memory of her mother to save the day, framed as a Doctor moment? Why does he get a rambling soliloquy backed by his triumphant theme music over scenes of BILL POTTS being the hero? Why does he use the photos of Bill's mum from The Pilot as a reason to take credit for Bill's achievement?

Why, after two weeks spent setting up these cool new monsters, do the monks not get a single line of dialogue in their final episode? And why does the monk who stops Bill and looks straight into her face not recognise her?

Why does the Doctor suddenly seem comfortable charging into battle with a platoon of soldiers when that was never his style before? Why do the soldiers' headsets use ancient cassette tapes? Why does the mental interference of the monk broadcasts get WEAKER the closer they get to the source rather than stronger? Why establish that the statues are actually important macguffins if they don't factor into the ending? Couldn't they have just blown them up? And why does the Doctor refer to the pyramid as a 'cathedral'?

Why does Nardole say that the TV signals can't be traced if he's about to say that he managed to trace the TV signals?

Why does the whole plot resolution rest on Bill's mum when she doesn't even get a single line of dialogue? Was she only there so Bill had a face to explain the plot out loud to?

Why was this three-parter worth making?